Before the Dawn
by Downlow
Summary: -This story features a darker version of the Marauders era- Severus has called her a Mudblood not three days ago and now he's hexed James with a new curse of his. But what was unexpected was her reaction to this. Was she turning dark as well? Or was this her role in the war brewing outside of the safety of Hogwarts?
1. Chapter 1

James Potter was having an internal rage fit right in the middle of the Great Hall, as you'd expect him to. It has been three days since the incident and his knuckles have taken a permanent shade of pale white from grasping every little thing a little too hard - the broom, the quill, the cutlery and sometimes, Sirius's poor shoulder, which now shows a hint of a permanently etched scarlet hand-print. It is difficult enough for Sirius that his long term love interest is being overly competitive against James in her conquest for ownership but having James's hand-print etched on his shoulder may have been the last straw to put a damper on their overly complicated, casual relationship.

James suddenly rises from the table, having spotted Snape briskly walking out of the hall with Mulciber and Avery, and starts to follow suit. Sirius wordlessly follows James, tapping Remus and Peter on the shoulder as he passes them. From the corner of his eyes, Sirius sees Marlene perk up at the sudden commotion and then look sideways at Lily intently to gauge her reaction. Usually Lily would be running behind the Marauders with the intention of saving Snape from a humourless prank - as it has lately been a bit intense - but this time she seems to be staring at her untouched plate of food trying to convince herself not to meddle. The battle is evident on her face. Marlene shrugs at Sirius apologetically before turning to her friend to cheer her up.

This whole exchange between Sirius and Marlene only takes a moment before Sirius rushes after James who is long gone by now. Sirius's long strides break into a galloping sprint as he rounds the corner.

James is, for once, not trying to attack Snape which is odd as well as expected in Sirius's opinion. He knew from the moment Snape called her Mudblood that James would try and make him apologise to her no matter how humble he'd have to be to him.

No matter how rough the four boys can get at times they are never truly evil. Being born to two pure-blood families, one of contempt and one of royalty, the two boys know what the word Mudblood truly means. It hasn't even been half a century since the Blood Purification was put to an end by Dumbledore but the wizarding atmosphere of Britain is cautioning against another similar war, this time led by the infamous Voldemort. The initiation of the Death Eaters have only made it tangibly real despite how many people are in denial of the fact that they'd have live to see two great wizarding wars in their lifetimes.

James disappears out of sight briefly as a loud bang reverberates through the castle walls, snapping Sirius out of the reverie just as he rounds the corner fully to see the entire corridor. His body freezes at the sight of James sprawled half against the wall and half on the floor, his body severely convulsing against the cold stone. He's bleeding profusely from multiple cuts which seem to be opening up everywhere all at once.

Sirius's body only takes mere seconds to process all of this before his arm reaches inside his robes pulling out his wand. His body seems to be thinking and acting on its own. He is aware of the fact that James was cursed by Avery and Mulciber before he actually sees them and his wand seems to be throwing hexes at them whose arms are still outstretched from having cursed James. He's acutely aware of Remus and Peter rushing behind them and immediately screams at them over his shoulder.

"Stop the bleeding and take him to the Wing. Now"

"Finite" Sirius is shocked by the sudden appearance of Lily, Marlene and Alice. Seeing the state of James, Marlene and Alice seem reluctant to come closer. Sirius turns his face sideways to nod at Lily in gratitude without taking his eyes off of Avery and Mulciber who are lying on the floor bleeding, much less than James, after being thrown at the walls multiple times in his frenzied state of anger.

"Step aside, Black" it was not a request. It was an order.

"Save it Evans. This is not a prank, as you can see" Sirius sounds more venomous than he intends to, but this seriously isn't the time to be handling this kind of immature drama from Evans no matter how infatuated James might have been with her for years. In his opinion, even Evans, being as self-righteous as she is, must see his treatment of the Slimy Three as deserving.

It all happens in a flash of a second. Sirius feels the non-verbal hex building up inside Snape and raises his wand in response, a Protego ready at his tongue in case he targets James again. But a large beam of over exaggerated red hits Snape square in the chest before the green hue could take form outside of his wand. Snape barely has time to contort his features into one of shock before he hits the far away dead end with a loud thud.

"I said step aside, Sirius."

"Lils, WATCH OUT"

Sirius is in too much of a shock to notice the stirring bodies of Avery and Mulciber until James lets out a forced cry. Despite the fact that his body seems to have stopped opening cuts in multiple places, his wounds are still unhealed and he has lost a lot of blood. Remus and Peter instinctively throw their arms around James to stop him from jumping into the scene in his poor state.

Sirius lifts his wand to throw a shield around the six of them but before he could recite the spell in his head, Avery and Mulciber are thrown at the same wall Snape was thrown at a moment ago.

Sirius snaps his head around to look at Lily, dangerously letting the Slimy Three out of his range of sight. He notices that she hasn't moved even a little from her initial pose when he half turned to nod at her but he has not realised at that time that she was staring at James intently.

"Crucio"

She doesn't shift her gaze from James when she utters the spell, her wand pointed in their direction. Avery and Mulciber, who are lying on top of each other right in front of Snape start to convulse on the floor, their screams reverberating through the castle walls. Remus acts on instinct, sealing off the area so that no one might accidentally walk in or hear what's going on here. Ordinarily he would be the first to stop Lily, but even Sirius could feel that that would put them in a seriously dangerous predicament.

Snape looks gobsmacked into inaction. She holds out the curse for far too long but none of the unhurt Marauders nor the girls are able to stop her, only partly proud of our very own Evans (as the other part seems to be properly terrified of her power). They stay frozen in time for half a minute which seems to drag on for hours in their minds until James flops himself over to lie on his stomach.

"That's enough, Lils"

His tone is both gentle and firm. Lily doesn't take her eyes off of James but she lowers her arm, effectively putting a stop to the curse.

As if suddenly awake from an epiphany, she walks over to Snape slowly, despite James's protests. She stops a few feet away from them and lowers herself to one knee, balancing her weight on the balls of her feet.

"I would say this is what Pure-bloods are reduced to in the presence of a Mudblood" the five Gryffindor wince at the word Mudblood but Lily doesn't seem to be phased by it. She doesn't seem to have perceived their reaction as she continues in the same breath, "If I didn't know James and Black. Seems like the ones who are willing to torment others in their quest for power are the truly weak."

"In other words, Severus Snape, you're one hell of a pussy"

A flicker of green lights his eyes momentarily as Snape jumps to his feet in rage, pointing the wand at her chest. She matches his movement calmly.

"Sectumsempra"

Snape 's eyes shimmer with moist before the curse hits him square on the chest.

Despite norm, none of the previous day's events seem to have circulated throughout the school via the grapevine. Lily was vaguely aware of being dragged away by someone who smelled like blood and sweat right after she hexed Severus. Everything feels like a blur in her head after that. She vaguely remembers herself being handed over to Marlene and being fussed over by Alice throughout the short journey to the Gryffindor common room. She remembers being thrown on top of her bed, a potion shoved in her hands and being left alone for goodness knows how long. She has stayed in her bed perfectly still, the drapes around her bed fully drawn and sealed magically so as not to be interrupted by person or sound. She wasn't ready to hear what was being said about the incident or to answer any of the questions Marlene and Alice might have, which they definitely would.

Right now she's hiding in the Astronomy Tower. Hiding is the accurate term as she's sitting on top of the railing on the balcony with a disillusionment charm hiding her from anyone who might wander in here in the dead of the night. She has timed it perfectly, hiding in her perfectly charmed bedpost for an entire day and half the night. She hasn't stepped out until the Perfect and Staff patrols end for the night (at one in the morning, to be accurate). She has to confront herself before facing the rest of the school.

If she is being completely honest she would admit to herself that she is hiding from the Marauders. But right now she's all about denial.

She has been gazing at the vast black scenery for about two hours now without letting her mind confront the situation. Not only did she use an Unforgivable on two students, but she also used a hex which she was pretty sure belonged in the Unforgivable category. It's not as if Sev told her about the hex he came up with. She once spied it off his book while studying with him on the library. He isn't gallant in that sense. He doesn't like passing on the best bit of knowledge he has.

Sev... The name itself brings a sting to her eyes. She still couldn't believe Sev wants to become a Death Eaters but to actually use a spell like that on a student three days after calling her a Mudblood... There isn't a fragment of her own Sev, her best friend that she recognises in this hull of a man anymore. No, there is something sinister growing within him and she feels the need to be as further away from it as possible every time she thinks about it.

Letting herself think about what Sev did brings a flood of images to her mind, images she has been successfully blocking out since last evening - of James sprawled on the floor like a beat up dog, deep slashes opening up all over his body over and over again, the pool of blood he was lying in and his eyes - that last one was definitely the hardest to remember. James wasn't letting out a single cry of pain and his eyes held so much of fighting power it was as if he was trying to block the curse from his mind. Even at a situation where most people would show their most vulnerable side, James Potter manages to show his best.

She slowly remembers the order of events, reluctantly. She remembers deciding to run behind the Marauders knowing something bad would happen to someone and she vaguely remembers thinking that James might walk into a horrible situation all on his own. She remembers jumping to her feet at this thought and running after Peter, the last of the gang, disregarding the cries of Marlene and Alice who, without a second thought, followed her. She remembers hearing a loud thud and picking up her stride rounding the corner, only to see Black battling Mulciber and Avery alone while Sev just watched the situation, smirking. She remembers how her eyes searched the entire corridor for the one person she was after and seeing him being torn apart over and over again in a pool of his own blood.

She averts her eyes away from the scenery as if forcing her mind to stop the flow of memory. She doesn't want to confront the rest, not yet.

But then again, she hates unresolved issues. Even if it's a tiny knowledge gap felt after hours of studying. She has always loved this about herself but right now she wishes she didn't have such a personality trait because her mind automatically goes back to following the previous day's events.

She members what she felt when she saw James on the floor like that. There was rage. Pure rage. She wanted to rip through everyone who had a hand in it, one by one.

Realisation suddenly hits her, making her heart rate pick up.

No. Absolutely not.

She thinks to herself, shaking her head furiously. She springs to her feet wanting to her away from here as soon as possible, as if this revelation would be deemed null if she got away from this place.

Because there is absolutely no way she would have feelings for him. Absolutely no way.

She turns to run, her disillusionment charm forgotten, but freezes on that spot, inches away from a presence. She can't quite see who it is yet as her eyes are beginning to adjust to the darkness of the inside of the tower, but she can feel that her face is inches away from someone's chest.

And she instinctively knows that it's his.

Her heart rate elevates and she can feel warmth creeping up at the back of her neck. Her breath hitches up and she tries really hard to keep it hidden. Even the sound of a pin drop can be heard in the isolated Tower. She can vaguely see him flick his wand in her direction and suddenly the disillusionment charm peels off of her.

She can feel him watching her and swears that she can hear him smirk and steals a quick glance to confirm this. He's looking at her with so much longing that she almost lets out a sigh. He holds her gaze for a long time until the blush that is creeping up her neck overtakes her face entirely. His eyes are accustomed to the dark as he has been watching her for a while now. He can see every single reaction on her face - the blush, the realisation, the panic and the retaliation. She tries to quickly turn her gaze downwards but he holds her by the chin before she can. He slowly leans his head down and she feels the blush deepening as his lips come down to hers slowly...

Until his forehead rests on hers. An unfamiliar feeling settles at the pit of her stomach. It takes her a moment to place this feeling. Oh dear lord. I'm disappointed that he didn't kiss me.

"There is no way Avery, Mulciber or Snape would ever admit to anyone that they were beaten up by a girl alone" he puts extra emphasis on the world alone. "Thanks to Remus's quick thinking, no one else witnessed the scene either. Obviously there's no way in hell either my boys or your girls would spill this anywhere".

All she can do is gaze into his eyes like a deer caught in headlights. His gaze is so intense that it is impossible for her to tear her eyes away from his.

He brings a hand up to her cheek, striking it slightly, and in an instant, he's gone.

 **Hi all,**

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	2. Chapter 2

There isn't a soul in the court yard, which is why Lily is currently occupying a bench in the corner. Since Sixth year is coming to an end soon and everyone seems to be busy with either revision or catching up on any work they have missed. This includes the nonsensical group of Marauders who are occupying the entirety of the Common Room - As there seem to be a large crowd of girls flocking around them wherever they go - and Severus and his friends hogging the library. She doesn't want to be around any of them right now and it doesn't seem like she'll be feeling up to it any time soon. Alice and Marlene have recently started to insist that they accompany her wherever she goes but when study time comes even they know better than to crowd her.

Besides, she has been successfully ignoring Potter and he seems to be ignoring her which is, frankly, infuriating her. She has been expecting the four friends to torment her for what they might have realized, but they seem to be acting as if none of it really happened. After about two weeks passed by she started to expect Remus to have "the talk" with her but even that hasn't happened. If at all, they all seem to be keen on putting the incident at the back of their minds.

What's infuriating is why none of them - not even her girls - seem to be bothered about the fact that she used two Unforgivable Curses (In her mind, Sectumsempra is an unforgivable) on the spot, on three students. She wants someone to tell her that she was wrong, that she is losing her mind and that maybe Sev's influence has driven her deep into the dark side unbeknown to her. If they - any of them - spoke to her about it, it would mean that they still care about her, that they want to fix her. But the fact that only her girls are around her seem to mean only one thing - they're all afraid of her and have asked the girls to keep an eye on her so as to make sure she wouldn't attack any more students.

Hence, her debilitated isolation has begun two weeks ago, a full month after the incident. She has successfully ignored Potter, Sev and everyone else involved all this time without being confronted by anyone about the fact. By what she could gather during her visits to the lavatories, the grapevine has it that everyone is afraid to mess with Evans during exam time and that it just gets worse the closer she gets to N.E. - which she is more than happy for people to be gossiping about.

Unable to focus on the subject matter any longer, she shuts the Potions book with an unexpected thud. Her temper seems to be getting the better of her these days, making every single action exaggerated. She looks over her shoulder at nothing in particular. The entire area, including the vast green-lands spreading out towards the outskirts of the school seems to be isolated. She packs her bag carefully so as not to crumple her books and gets to her feet.

It takes her a minute to realise she doesn't want to go to either the Common Room or the library. After giving it another minute of thought, she decides to take a stroll down to the lake and read a book.

No matter how many times Lily reads Pride and Prejudice, she responds to it the same way as she did the first time. The novel is a classic indeed. She loves how Jane Austen, the author, has managed to portrait the friendship of Bingley and Darcy, two polar opposites. She is, naturally, in love with Darcy. But she does think that he could have swallowed his pride earlier and much better than he manages to. To actually propose to a woman - albeit being in love with her - without even considering the possibility of rejection, is conceited to say the least. He was very derogative of her, a woman whose mind was sounder than most men put together at that age and time.

Her mind is wandering around in Jane Austen's universe when it happens. There is a faint rumbling of the Earth, escalating towards the castle. She scrambles to her feet and grounds herself on the spot to feel the vibrations of the Earth. She senses the disturbance coming from the far East - Hogsmead. She squint her eyes in that direction. There's a faint hue of black and green rising from the horizon. A deep fear takes root in her gut and starts to climb up her spine in the form of shivers and goose bumps. She takes a deep breath and calms her nerves telling herself that this is it.

She doesn't know what it is even after running around the grounds to a more visible spot, quite a length away from the clearing in front of the Astronomy Tower. She's debating with herself whether to inch away from the castle and towards the outskirts or to inch towards the castle, where the Professors might be better at warding off the threat while she helps her fellow Prefects to protect the students. She shakes her head in disbelief at the ridiculous thought - of course no one will probably be on time. There's not a soul to be seen anywhere. Everyone, including the Professors must be preparing themselves for the upcoming exams.

As if this thought pushes her mind out of her body, she starts to feel her feet hit the ground harder, picking up momentum. Her eyes start to glaze over but her senses begin to perceive every little detail - the rumbling beneath the castle drawing closer and the electricity in the atmosphere hike suddenly as a hundred curses hit the protective barrier around the castle. Time slows down even further when the barrier absorbs all power and sound before something almost ear-drum-shattering and mind numbing erupts from within the castle reverberating through everything that stood in-between. Her body freezes, her eyes moving up the Astronomy Tower to where the counter-spell was cast from just in time to see Dumbledore, standing there without even a wand in hand, before the power of his spell consumes her raw.

"Lily? Lily wake up"

She jolts upright, grasping for breath desperately. Her body has broken a cold sweat along her temples in this cold evening weather. She looks around her frantically, looking for the Tower, the dream still fresh in her mind.

"Hush love. It's all right now" only then does she realise she was awoken by someone. She looks up to see a concerned pair of hazel eyes peeking out from under ruffled black hair. The fact that Potter is here with her right after the dream she just saw both calms and infuriates her. She springs to her feet, her breath hitching up again and crosses her arms across her chest.

"What do you want?"

He drops his head in defeat and chuckles to himself, shaking his head in mock disbelief. He takes his time getting to his feet from the squatting position he's been sitting in and takes a step closer to her, enjoying how she involuntarily takes a step back at his advance.

"I want you to be at the Common Room at least, if you can't go to bed yet, before any of the other Prefects realise you're missing duty"

Her eyes almost fall out of her sockets "Bloody hell, Potter what time is it?"

"A little past twelve. I could have sworn you were running away from the new roster"

It's a little true and untrue at the same time. Hogwarts appoints two Prefects per House in the student's Fifth year and these chosen students remain as Prefects until they leave school. Hence, at any point of time, there are Twenty Four Prefects at Hogwarts. One girl and one boy from the seventh year Prefects are chosen to be Head boy and Head girl and these two are included in the perfect body of twenty four. Professor McGonagall had told them at their briefing that should a student outside of the Prefects Body proves to be a better suited candidate when they reach the end of the sixth year then they would be placed as Head girl or boy in addition to the Twenty Four appointed, although, this exception is yet to be witnessed by Hogwarts. The older Prefects say that this is just a norm upheld in the rules just to keep the Prefects on their toes, to ensure they don't take advantage of their power to abuse other houses.

This year, to brew unity amongst the houses despite the brewing war outside of Hogwarts, the roster has been changed with effect from today. Prefects of the same grade and house no longer patrol together. Houses are to be mixed so as to get everyone to rule in harmony.

Hence this week instead of Remus, Lily has to patrol with Mulciber.

She is not opposed to the idea at all even though she is not excited about doing any sort of activity with Mulciber. But the fact that Potter thinks she would actually run out on her duties as a Perfect is not accepted at all, to her.

"Do you think I'm a coward, Potter?"

She feels the anger rise up her body as she says this. Potter only chuckles in amusement.

"Of course not. I never thought of you that way. You were always the one person who could stand up to us four. The only one."

The fact that he admires her gut - not just acknowledge it - comes to her as shock. Blood starts to flow to her cheeks and she lowers her head quickly to hide the visible blush creeping up her face. Potter notices this and takes a step close.

"Why did you do it?" he asks staring at her intently, running a finger up and down the bare skin on her forearm.

"I-I don't know" this is the first ever time she's speaking to him so softly. She wants to sound like she used so as to not give him inkling to her feelings but all she can do right now is manage to keep her voice even without reacting to the sensation on her arm. "Maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm twisted in the head. Maybe I'm the one who made him bad" she's rambling now.

He steps in closer while she rambles on and keeps his forehead on her head as he did at the Tower. Her entire body freezes, her mind not daring to form a single thought.

"It's taking all of my energy to not-" he says roughly before disappearing yet again.

"How fucking infuriating can a boy get?" She wonders out loud before grabbing her bag and storming into the castle.

Three days later, on a Saturday night, she's walking back from the library alone listing down the pending revision list mentally. In another week and a half the sixth year finals will commence and she only has two more subjects to cover. Mentally patting herself for a job well done this year, she rounds a corner only to take a quick step back at hearing two boys argue in hushes tones. Instead of walking in the opposite direction she flattens herself against the wall because she is not going to miss a fight between Potter and Black.

"We have to do something Prongs. Her mind is poisoned. She might as well be fucking Imperiused" Sirius spits out between grit teeth.

"Yes I know. Believe me. It kills me not to do anything. But it is not our place. She needs to figure this out on her own. There's history there"

"Oh for Salazar's sake you dimwit! This is not the time to be chivalrous. Not when lives are at stake. Aren't you supposedly in love with her?"

There's a painful pause and Lily tries to step out of her hiding spot and inch towards the two to hear what Potter has to say to that.

"No. Not like this."

Before her mind can think, her body starts to walk in the opposite direction.

Her head is hanging low and her pace is slowing down now that she is far away from the conversation she just eavesdropped on. Her mind refuses to think of anything. For the first time in forever, her mind's voice is speechless.

 _Lily_

Severus's voice reverberates within the confines of her mind and thinking he has spotted her, she flattens herself against the wall once again. She frantically looks around to get her bearings and realising she's somewhere near the Dungeons, she starts to panic. She looks everywhere but fails to find the source of the voice.

 _There is no point Lily. You know I'm in your head._

All colour drains from her body and she swings back and forth on the balls of her feet.

 _Please, Lily. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what you might do or say if I come to see you. Please. You don't need to say anything. Just listen._

She reaches out to thin air, steadying her body. Her eyes are blurring and her head is spinning. As she counts backwards from ten she realises that her reaction is the same as it was the last time he entered her mind and she his.

 _I would I would never again call you a... a you-know-what. I never meant it Lily. You know I never would. You're everything to me. Everything._

She falls to her knees grasping her head in both her hands.

 _I've been in love with you since the day I saw you playing with your sister under that big Oak tree._

"Then" Lily responds slowly, verbally, taking control of the situation "tell me this. What would Lord Voldemort say when you tell him you want to be a Death Eater and that you're in love with a Mudblood in the same sentence?"

She feels him cringe at the word but she remains resolute. She has to know what he would pick - the special bond they shared which is obviously beyond friendship, or to torment innocent people who are born of her blood.

 _I can make them spare you. I'll protect you no matter what._

"Oh? How charitable of you!" She scoffs in disgust "So you mean to say that one day when the Death Eaters start marching against anyone who opposes them, directly, you'll ask the Venerable Lord Voldemort to spare me but kill the rest? Say, my husband, my children, my parents?"

 _They don't matter - he snaps._

"Then neither do I. If you're willing to sacrifice everything we were for eight years, I'm willing to sacrifice you for everyone else's safety. The day your lot marches against mine, I'll cast my self in between to protect them all." Her chest is having rapidly, her voice louder and venomous than is characteristic of her. She takes a deep breath before continuing. "And Severus? If he ever comes at my family, I'll be the reason for his demise. If you ever do any of the things I saw in your head last time, I'll hex you the same way I did you and your friends. I'll be the fucking death of you."

With that she springs to her feet and storms down the corridor - and right into Potter and Black.

"So you weren't being controlled" Black says, patting her shoulder.

Her eyes fall out of her sockets but she pointedly ignores Potter. "What are you talking about?"

"Well our Mr. Potter over here has the habit of stalking you and I have this unhealthy habit of stalking him. We've seen Snape try Occlumency on you but this dipshit here never let me interfere."

"Right, because he is _not_ in love with me"

Then she turns and runs to the Gryffindor Common Room leaving a very shocked Potter and a hysterical Black behind.


	3. Chapter 3

This time, James isn't going to let Lily just leave with a fight hanging in the air. This time, he chases her.

He catches up to her not a corridor away where he finds her doubled up, hyperventilating. Without giving her a chance to pick a fight, he drags her away.

"Come on. Let's take this someplace private"

He drags her to the Fifth floor and stands in front of a spacious wall, brows furrowed and fists clenched. She watches him quizzically for half a minute before attempting to protest – something about wasting her time – just in time for a door to materialize right in front of them. He watches with a smirk as her jaw drops and she is rendered speechless for a while. He enjoys the effect for a bit longer before breaking the silence.

"Shall we?"

She can only nod slowly, mouth still agape. His hand resumes the grip right above her right elbow, gently guiding her towards the room. She takes a moment to take in the surroundings – her eyes run through the expanse of the room which seems to be a giant storage area with random equipment, cupboards, and ornaments and the likes thrown about haphazardly. She turns in a circle, taking in the contents of the room before settling to stare daggers at him.

"and _what_ is the meaning of this?"

"Well, this place has played host to students of hundreds of generations who wanted to get rid of things. Seemed appropriate, given the situation"

"You have absolutely no right-"she starts, taking a step closer to him. He stares back, nonchalant, his face lacking all trace of his usual playful demeanor.

"I've seen it more than once. You sit in the library in that dark corner near the restricted section and practice Occlumency on each other. You've been doing it for months now. Don't try to deny it. I've seen. So has Sirius."

Anger and shame build up inside of her, slowly bubbling to the surface as he speaks. She can barely wait for him to finish the sentence before she blurts out.

"How dare you spy on me! What is the deal with you, Potter. Were you even spying on me? You don't even…" She trails off, unable to finish the sentence.

"I don't even what?" He's trying really hard not to smirk.

"Like me" Her voice is barely above a whisper but it reverberates through the room.

He does all he could to not be sidetracked by this, which he is sure she's aiming at.

"Nice try, Lils. Now spill. What's the deal?"

She looks defiant when she looks him dead in the eye, a tear rolling down her face even though her voice is even.

"You don't have the right to invade my privacy like that. I'm in no way obligated to tell you anything. We're not- we're not…" She trails off, her eyes fixating on something far off above his shoulder.

Suddenly, the entire room is taken by a jolt, and they both feel the entire room moving around as if to make space for another area. James drags Lily by the arm and shoves her behind a pile of antiques and motions her to stay quiet. The reverberating continues on for a while with a faint rumble and Lily is suddenly reminded of the dream she had by the lake. She shudders against James and he pushes them further into the corner, taking her on top of his lap.

"There's a lot going on in your mind, isn't there?" He whispers against her head. She shudders at the feeling, unable to control her body entirely. She is not excited about the fact that James Potter can completely control and manipulate her body even if the sensation is addictive.

"It's a bit shaky when the room is being used by someone else but then the two spaces operate as two entities. I'm pretty sure that's Sirius and Marlene on the other side… Not everyone knows how to access the room when it's already being used." he trails off, chuckling.

She knows he is indirectly saying that they can move away if they want, but she is rooted to him. Emotions, memories and sensations come crashing down as if all of her walls are being torn asunder, but she holds on to them desperately without letting them slip out.

James straightens up, his arms cradling her, careful not to give her any space to escape. He is towering over her, making her feel even more vulnerable in his presence.

"If you're going to be so stubborn, I can be stubborn too."

Without moving his arms from around her midriff, he kisses her left temple. She shudders, her eyes fluttering close instinctively. He works his way down to her cheek and then places a soft kiss on her ear.

"I know you were listening to our conversation and I know why you ran. You thought I told Sirius I didn't have feelings for you. What I actually meant was-" he pauses to kiss the spot right below her ear, making her breath hitch up "that I didn't want to do it this way. We thought he was manipulating you with Occlumency but I wanted you to figure it out. I didn't want to break off your friendship like that" he kisses the same spot again, making her back arch involuntarily. Realising what her soft spot is, he moves his left arm to cup her right cheek which is facing away from her and kisses her on the cheek, pulling her closer to his body and using the other hand to pull her around to fully face him. The hand that is cupping her cheek moves to entangle her hair at the base of her neck while his other hand presses her body to his, tightly.

"It is precisely because I'm so fucking in love with you that I don't want to win you that way"

At this he feels her entire body collapse against his, the walls she was desperately holding on to being ripped apart. Smiling against her neck, he pulls away, holding her from the base of her neck, forcing her to look up into his eyes.

Before she knows it, she's spilling every last detail to his astonished face.

 _Lily is up by seven o'clock that morning, as usual. Keen on avoiding another encounter with Tuney, she quickly freshens up and runs downstairs to where her mother is making scrambled eggs with bacon. She grabs a plate while humming to herself and fills her it with an unhealthy amount of bacon and eggs._

" _Hiya dad" she greets her dad who's reading a newspaper in the living room while drinking his coffee. "Anything interesting happen in the last twenty-four hours?" she slides down next to him on the couch aggressively._

" _Darn right it has. Seven people missing from their homes. They leave the house for an evening stroll and never come back. It's the strangest thing."_

 _Her brow furrows against her forehead, "that_ is _unusual. Cops find anything relevant?"_

" _When do they ever?" he sighs in resignation._

" _Amen to that. Dad do you mind missing me for the day? I may have stumbled upon the answer to our mystery last night, by accident, might I add. I can't wait to test my theory"_

 _She's bouncing up and down on the couch in so much excitement that her father chuckles in response._

" _Of course my love. Though, you do have to promise me you'll not show up till seven in the evening. If you're not here from four for Petunia to pick your clothes and dress you up as she sees fit for the_ big introduction, _she might throw a fit when you show up at six the way you usually do – with twigs in your hair. Besides" he lowers his voice, "the least we hear about it afterwards, the better."_

" _That better not be about me on the most important day of my life!" Petunia thunders, walking down the stairs in that innately snobbish way of hers._

" _Wouldn't dream of it, Tuney" Lily says, rolling her eyes as she gets off the couch. She quickly cleans up and runs up the stairs to collect her backpack and runs down in an excited haze. She pecks a kiss on her mum's cheek and dad's forehead before running out the front door._

 _Sev is waiting for her by their Oak tree when she finally gets there. His blue faded jeans and black t-shirt screams incompatibility against his drooping gothic features. His eyes are dark circles and his face is a bit too harsh – a recent development Lily resents. It all lightens up when he sees her though and he jumps to his feet to pull her into a hug – the only time he dares to enjoy any physical contact with her. They break apart and Lily climbs up to the lowest birch while Sev sits on the ground beside her feet._

" _I poured through all the book in my mum's collection" Sev starts drolly, "but found absolutely nothing. It's as if no one really knows how to get these potions perfectly right. Maybe there's a reason Lily."_

" _Yes there is" Lily responds chirpily, "but it's not what you think. See, while you were trying to find if someone else knew how to make the potions better than Libatius Borage, I read up about the man himself. Turns out, he was the jealous, bitter kind who lived and died with his potions. Inventing potions that no one has ever thought of was his passion in life and he wanted immortality in that area. He didn't want anything or anyone to beat him. It is said that he has never given two people the same instructions about one potion. He was the kind to never pass on the full extent of his knowledge."_

" _That sounds reasonable to me."_

" _Of course it does - to you. Now, I wanted to map his thinking and his education when it comes to potions so I read a bit about Castelobruxo as well. Just like we have ancient text in our restricted section, the Brazilian school seems to have had a larger variety, seeing as how they had a wizarding community dating back to the Mayans. I've already owled Professor Slughorn asking if he has any of these texts, so that's that. But,"_

 _Her face is flushed and fingers are giddy with excitement as she pulls out pieces of paper from her notebook._

" _What if the way we prep the ingredients are wrong?"_

 _Sev is trying really hard to not look skeptic or stupid, "How many ways are there to cut and chop ingredients, Lily?"_

" _Many, and you'll resent that question soon. When the instructions for Felix Felicis says_ Juice a Squill Bulb _, what do you do?"_

" _I cut and squeeze?"_

" _That's the mistake!" she jumps up on the birch in triumph. "See, last night I was eating the toffees you gave me while trying to figure this out and you know what I realized? When I bite half of the toffee off versus when I put the entire thing my mouth and crush it – the chocolate within the toffee tastes different in both quantity and quality. It's milkier and smoother when I squish it. What if we're destroying certain properties of the ingredients by cutting them and then squeezing them out? What if we squish it?"_

 _Sev's eyes start twinkling and he looks as if he's in awe of her._

" _You're absolutely brilliant! I'll try that tonight." And with that he gets up, gathers his books and prepares to leave._

" _Where do you think you're going?" Lily asked perplexed. "We just started."_

 _He doesn't meet her eyes as he makes excuses for himself about how he has to do grocery shopping and prepare the meals for the day as his mum is sick. Lily watches his bouncing figure fade into the distance in complete distrust. Severus is never able to look at her in the eyes when he lies and he's been lying and ditching Lily a lot lately. Determined to figure this mystery out, Lily follows him._


End file.
